It’s Okay To Customise
“There are people living their whole lives on the default setting, never realising that they can customise” Robert Breault
I am glad my son is not one of them….
You are in charge of yourself, not your parents, your partner or your boss. If you are not happy with something, then change it. In a society that seems to be dictated by social media in what one should and should not be doing, it can make it hard for one to accept that they can do something different to everyone else.
We have all had that friend who lived by their own rule book (and I don’t mean the illegal one), they didn’t go to university, they didn’t get married, they didn’t have kids, they took a gap year or they moved continents to live a total different life. We all have options, we just need to be open to receiving them and not worry about what others may think, as trust me most people are too busy to think about your decisions for longer than a minute!
I am not suggesting that the above decisions are the right ones, what I am suggesting is that it is up to you to decide what your goals are and how YOUR big picture looks.
Personally I was the low risk taker that finished school, went to university, got a job, bought a car then a house…stable but boring! I then, at 30, married an entrepreneur (Tim), who opened my eyes to a whole other way of thinking. You see I always secretly wanted a gap year, to travel and explore the world, but I thought this was not the right thing to do by my parents after they had given me the opportunity to study in the City.
I have definitely made up for it since, but I have also ensured that our son realised what was available to him when it came time for him to choose life after school. When he told me in Year 11 that university wasn’t for him and that he wanted to travel I funnily enough did a secret fist pump as I thought yes he is not afraid to forge his own path HIS way. By the end of Year 12 he had changed his mind and decided he would apply to university but still take a break from study for a year. Unfortunately, Covid put a halt to the travel plans so he applied for a PE Traineeship at a school and was accepted, so in 2021 he started full-time work.
In 2022 he was offered a part-time position at the school and started his university studies full-time. Towards the end of 2022 he came home and asked “What should I do” he had been offered a full-time position at the school which of course meant he could not continue a full load of study. Knowing that he loved the role and really wanted to take up the position he really was just looking for us to say it is OK to choose work over study. I explained to him that he can complete his study anytime and at any pace but finding a job you love is not as easy, he took the role and decided to study part time. This of course could change if the load gets too much, and that is OK too.
I tell you this story, to show you that it is fine to not follow the same journey as your Dad, Mum, brother or friends. It is OK to go straight to University, or not and it is OK to travel and explore other opportunities on another continent.
Choose what works best for you, just whatever you do, don’t live on the Default setting.
Michelle McCranor